Long TV intros are seriously the bane of my existence. I’d forgotten just how much they made me want to jump off of a bridge, until recently, when I began watching The Wire.
Seriously – why?! The Wire season one intro clocks in at 1 minute 30 seconds – which to somebody who has never watched the show may not sound like much. A minute and a half? You couldn’t even microwave a Tesco’s Finest Cottage Pie in that time. Hell, you could go watch it right now, all the way through, and it wouldn’t even come close to being an issue.
But now watch it again,
and again… about sixty more times. This is what binge-watching The Wire is like.
Though a sequence of various drug-related misdoings around Baltimore is undeniably riveting the first time around, the concept get’s a little stale on the second or third viewing. Perhaps this problem would be far less apparent if I were to watch shows the way they were supposed to be viewed originally; during a weekly broadcast. 1 minute 30 seconds a week is far more reasonable.
However, The Wire stopped broadcasting in 2008. It is now 2014. I think it’s fair to say I missed that boat by a considerable margin. Is that The Wire‘s fault? Absolutely not. Will I blame The Wire for it? You betcha!
But what about shows that were not meant to be viewed as part of a weekly broadcast? Shows that were released to be watched over a short period of time? Surely they wouldn’t weigh the viewers down with lengthy unremarkable intros? Right?
There is no excuse for you, House of Cards – you were made to be binge-watched. What’s even the point of having such a long intro? A short intro, a-la LOST would have been perfect for a show like you. Just 10 seconds to let the viewer know what they are watching, that’s all you needed. But No – you had to go all HBO on us and fill your show with a bunch of random shots of Washington. Not even drug-related misdoings in Washington, just plain old Washington.
They don’t even do us the good grace of putting them at the start so we can skip them and move on. Game of Thrones, another main offender, sometimes hides their intros up to 7 minutes into the show. That’s 7 minutes of knowing you’ve got to get up and skip through a 2 minute sequence of a model city being built on a map. How can you enjoy the show with that kind of burden on your shoulders?
Sometimes shows manage to pull off an intro that you don’t want to skip. Sometimes. Even in these rare cases, it’s hard to resist the temptation of fast forwarding. As much as I enjoy watching Dexter complete his morning routine, perhaps at this point, I have seen it enough.
Or maybe I’m just really impatient.
“B-but it set’s the tone of the show!”
They shouldn’t need 2 minutes to set the tone of the show. Mad Men does it perfectly in 30 seconds. Take notes, True Blood.
On a completely unrelated note, how about you check out the new FilmVex intro!
Also, stay tuned for my next article: Needlessly long blog posts!